Happy Thursday. It’s PSA time, and this week I am providing a public service announcement about driving.
To the Speed Racer who guns it at every green light:
Congratulations on beating everyone else to the next red light. I hope you bask in your victory and feel a sense of accomplishment. Your reflexes are strong and quick.
To the Right-Hand Turner who comes to a complete stop:
I’m sorry that this and many other right turns have provided you such trouble. Remember, we’re in America. You won’t be crossing into oncoming traffic to make this turn, so be bold!
To the Guy Tailgating me:
If your goal is to demotivate me from moving out of your way, well done. Also, you may want to brush up on your driving laws. Pop Quiz: Who is the at-fault party if a car is rear-ended…
(excuse the language)
To the Drivers of Busses and 18-Wheelers :
I have nothing snarky to say. We all hate driving behind, beside, in front of or anywhere near you. Please just stop. Or at least stay in the right lane.
To the Last-Minute Decision Maker:
What a wild ride you take the rest of us on. If your goal is to scare the rest of us into paying closer attention, bravo! You’re a risk taker – you change lanes, stop, turn and accelerate with no warning and that is what keeps life interesting. Or causes wrecks… one of the two.
To the 90-year-olds operating cars that look deceptively young-person-esque:
I am sincerely sorry. I was really mad about how slow you were driving until I passed you and now I just feel like a horrible person. Use some of those well-earned dollars that your entitled grandson doesn’t need to inherit and hire yourself a driver. You deserve it.